Might be giving up on this blog..

I haven't blogged in ages, I just don't feel it anymore. I'm going to give myself some time to reevaluate my life and some of the craziness happening around it. Thanks to my few followers, I promise to keep updated on your blogs :)

People let me tell you 'bout my best friend.

I have the internet to thank for a lot of amazing people in my life, my husband being one of them.

A couple years ago I was a regular on a certain wedding website forum :nudge nudge: and a newbie also from Central Florida showed up on the boards. We had a lot in common so we emailed and decided to hang out. We nommed on Panera and talked about life. That was the beginning of something that will last forever.

Kelly is my best friend, even in the short span of our friendship we've been there for each other through plenty of life changing events. Her first born, Kadie is the raddest 3 year old you'll ever meet and fearless as can be.. well except for when it comes to crab legs and she and her husband, Josh make beautiful babies.

Late September of 2009, I was awoken [..awakened? whatever] from my sleep by multiple missed calls from Kelly; I opened up my text inbox and saw "BFP, ANSWER YOUR FUCKING PHONE!" We laughed, we cried, we got really excited.. and then we realized she'd be a mom x2 to a brand new, nursing, newborn on her planned June wedding date.

The planning began that week to push her wedding to that November and she immediately sent out invites. We went dress shopping and found a BEAUTIFUL gown on an accidental clearance. High five whoever forgot to pull off the red tag. I made her a birdcage veil and donated wedding decor; our friend Nicole made the vegan cake; Josh, a chef, made the food and his restaurant hosted the reception. We all pitched in to make her dream a reality. The week prior to the wedding we rushed to tie up loose ends and figure out the logistics of the day; she found a gorgeous park with a great site to perform the ceremony. Friday night, Kelly, Nicole and myself hung out and Kelly got us tattoos as a bridesmaid gift. Pretty kickass. Fast forward to Saturday afternoon.. it was beautiful!

Wedding porn:

[Kim, Kelly, Me, Nicole]

..four weeks later I found out I was moving away to Texas. I wasn't even going to be there when Baby #2 was born! Kelly's wedding day ended up being the last time I was able to see her before I left; she lived an hour away and with working doubles and packing, it was really difficult to break away to go see her. I regret that with every inch of my soul.

May 13th, 2010, 8:50am

Best news EVER..

Happy Birthday
Kaelyn Drew
5lbs, 9oz.

..and all I could do was send flowers and gifts. I love that little nugget more than anything and I haven't even had the chance to meet her.

Last week Kelly and her family moved their lives to Wisconsin. I was so happy for her to be receiving the opportunities that come with living there, but I was torn apart when I realized that I wouldn't be seeing her on my vacation to Florida this fall. Friends are forever, no matter the distance between us.

I'm so proud of you and I'm coming to Wisconsin soon!

I honestly don't know where I'd be without her right now; she helped me through a really rocky time in my marriage, and has been my shoulder to cry on during my battle with infertility.

Thank you internet, for introducing me to the best mother, friend, person I've ever known.

Wordless Wednesday: 105

[our home is complete]

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50 things about my marriage

I snagged this survey from Military Mama and thought it was super cute.. so here we go!

1. When is your “engagement” anniversary:

October 23, 2008

2. When is your “marriage” anniversary:
May 26, 2009

3. How long have you known your spouse:
3 years

4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged:
Exactly a year from the day we met online, three weeks short of a year dating.

5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?
Myspace, then the parking lot of a hotel :)

6. What is your spouse’s full name:
Michael John S., Jr.

7. Do you have any children:
Not yet :(

8. How many – boys/girls:
N/A

9. Do you have any house pets:

YES! They are our babies :)
Pugsley - 4yr old Dutch bunny
Dante - 1.5yr old Dutch bunny
Deacon - 1yr old Chihuahua Italian Greyhound mix

Phoebe - 2.5yr old Pug Chihuahua mix

10. Do you own a house or rent:
This is our last month renting! We close on our home on the 20th!

11. Do you live in the country or town/city:

Currently suburban, moving into a rural area but they are developing it.

12. What is one of your favorite activities together:
As lame as it sounds.. watch TV! He works a lot, and when he gets home I make dinner and we watch our favorite shows. We also love Sundays at the dog park.. Oh oh, and baby making no matter how much we fail at it :)

13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot:
We've never been on a full blown vacation together! We've just never had the time :( We are going to Florida in the fall, but I hardly consider it a vacation as we are going for a wedding. Next year we plan on taking a vacation to Europe as long as I'm not hugely pregnant.

14. When did you first kiss?
11/11/07, the date we became an official couple (although the kiss came before..)

15. What church do you attend?
We're Atheist.

16. Is this the church you were married in:
We were married outside a courthouse.

17. What town is your current address at:
Roanoke, Texas

18. Do you work or stay at home:
Stay at home.

19. Where did you go on your honeymoon:
We didn't get a chance to go on our honeymoon :(

20. What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?
Uhmm. I don't know? We gift each other things we want.

21. How long have you been together?
3 years on 11/11

22. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
Online? Three weeks. In person? 20 minutes..

23. Who asked who out?
It was mutual, but he asked if we could make this official.

24. How old are each of you?
I'm 24, 25 in January and he's 23, 24 next month.

25. Where do each of you go to school?
He doesn't, he works. I have yet to transfer into a school here yet (I'm waiting out the 12 months to have full residency and not pay out of state tuition)

26. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
I'd rather not say, but if you're close to us you know. Miscarrying was hard on us too but we moved on knowing that it'll happen for us again.. boy, were we wrong!

27. Did you go to the same school?
Nope

28. Are you from the same home town?
Nope nope, he's from Anaheim, CA and Melbourne, FL and I'm from Brooklyn, NY and Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

29. Who is smarter?
ME! Haha, I think he's more common sense smart and I'm book smart.

30. Who is more sensitive?
ME. Absolutely me. I cry at least once a week.

31. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
In Florida it was Denny' and Moe's. That was "our place" but I think we've eaten a lot of Chipotle in our day :)

32. Where is the farthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Florida to Texas.

33. Who has the craziest exes?
Hmm.. him. His exes are insane. My exes are still friends of mine and nice people in general

34. Who has the worse temper?
ME. I have Hispanic temper.

35. Who does the cooking?
Me :) He only knows how to make mac & cheese and boil noodles. I make our meals.

36. Who is more social?
Absolutely me. I'm a social butterfly and he is socially awkward.

37. Who is the neat-freak?
Both and neither at the same time. We both have OCD about certain things, but our house is never perfect.

38. Who is more stubborn?
HIM! He swears that I am though, but he is a stubborn ass.

39. Who hogs the bed?
He likes to lay like a starfish. 'nuff said.

40. Who wakes up earlier?
We both wake up at the same time, so I can make him breakfast and pack his lunch. On weekends he is usually up earlier to take the dogs out though.

41. Where was your first date?
It was supposed to be Moe's, but his family INSISTED on meeting me (mind you.. we had just met THAT day) and by the time we were out of the family reunion, Moe's was closed :( So we went to Chilli's. BLEH.

42. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?
Me, by a long shot.

43. Do you get flowers often?
Not really, in three years I think I've gotten flowers 3 or 4 times. Once was because HE FORGOT MY BIRTHDAY!

44. How do you spend the holidays?
Depends, we use to split it between families although one year he spent xmas eve with his family and surprised me at my parent's house (two hours away) xmas morning! Now that we live 1200 miles from family, we'll start just spending it alone.

45. Who is more jealous?
Me, but I have my reasons.

46. How long did it take to get serious?
We talked about me moving in with him before we'd even met in person. We talked marriage within the first month of dating.

47. Who eats more?
He eats larger portions, I eat more often.

48. Who does the laundry
I sort/wash/dry, he folds.

49. Who’s better with the computer?
HIM, he built our desktop and is always fixing my laptops. He's definitely a computer nerd, but I still type faster ;)

50. Leave a piece of advice for the other couples.
Marriage is hard work, don't sweat the small stuff! Bad things are going to happen, but working through it hand in hand is what makes you stronger as a couple.

Holy progress batman!

We stopped by our homesite on the way back from our midwife appointment, which btw..

..we were pleasantly surprised with how much had been done when we peeked inside the house!

Our pest control system has been installed!

Our air conditioner is in!

Water heater is in!

Tile went down!

Cabinets are up! (don't mind the ugly laminate, they don't offer an upgrade so once we close we're installing Quartz or Granite)

All of our light fixtures were up as well!

Next up: Carpets. Unsure if bathroom fixtures are in although considering the kitchen cabinets are up, I'm sure the bathrooms are too; we couldn't walk in because the tile was setting. Fence and sod and DONE

So three more weeks and we close :) SO exciting!

20 minute stir fry.

i have no clue why i haven't blogged this recipe earlier considering i make this EVERY.WEEK.

20 minute stir fry

ingredients:

enough rice for however many people you're feeding (1/2c pp)

1 can (organic) cut green beans drained

1 can (organic) whole kernel corn

1 can (organic) cut carrots

1 cup (organic) frozen/fresh edamame

1 cup (organic) frozen/fresh broccoli

*i always use organic, but you don't HAVE to.

dump rice in rice cooker (if you don't have one of these, GET ONE! It will save you SO much time and the rice always comes out PERFECT)

cover with water, water should come up just a bit over the rice. splash of evoo and a tsp of salt, mix. close lid and press cook.

while that is cooking, spray a large pan or wok with non stick spray.

if you're using any frozen veggies, toss them in a bowl of water and microwave for 1 minute. drain water.

toss all veggies in the pan and cook for 10 minutes, cover with enough soy sauce to coat and let it reduce for 5 minutes.

Pour veggies over the rice. DONE.

Serve with spring rolls, or teriyaki glazed tofu (or chicken for you meat eaters, which is what my husband does)

10 minute teriyaki glazed [enter protein here]

cut tofu [or animal protein if you're into that sorta thing] into thin strips

spray pan with non-stick

toss in pan and cook until brown

cover in teriyaki glaze/sauce and turn off heat.

EAT!

vegan fettuccine alfredo

[not the best picture, I was out of natural light and it was taken with my iPhone]

16oz box of fettuccine noodles

1/2 bag of "mozzarella" Daiya Cheese Shreds

2 tablespoons vegan grated parmesan topping or nutritional yeast

2 tablespoons Tofutti Better Than Cream Cheese

3 tablespoons of vegan butter (I use Earth Balance because it kicks ass)

3 tablespoons of cornmeal (I don't measure.. I just kinda eyeballed it)

1 cup of unsweetened or original soy/rice/milk substitute

1 clove of garlic (or 1tsp of minced)

garlic salt

italian seasoning

Salt and oil water, boil pasta until al dente.

In a small pot or sauce pan (on medium heat) melt the vegan butter, toss in some garlic salt, italian seasoning and the garlic. Heat until you can smell the garlic.

Shake in about 3 tablespoons of cornmeal (remember, I eyeball so I can't be sure) and stir until combined.

Add the parm topping/nutritional yeast and mix.

Stir in the cup of soymilk, and stir continuously until it just begins to boil. Lower heat and stir for another minute, add in the Tofutti Better Than Sour Cream and stir until melted. Toss in the Daiya Cheese, mix until combined.

Drain pasta and put it back in it's pot, pour alfredo over the pasta, mix and enjoy!

Top with broccoli, asparagus, or vegan chik'n and a bit more parm topping.

This was a last minute meal option. We hadn't considered what to make for dinner and I decided it was time to try and make an easy alfredo. Everything took about 20mins tops. It was REALLY good and hit the spot.

wordless wednesday: three long weeks.

[next monday my husband leaves for d.c., he returns friday only to turn around and leave for two weeks in afghanistan that sunday. this is going to be hard.]

little miss muffet.

...minus that whole eating curds and whey bit. bleh!

this morning while walking the dogs I was frightened by this BEAST of a spider in a giant web out by our entrance gate. At first I was honestly terrified and wanted DH to murder it. Hey, I'm a vegan not a saint. After Deacon and Phoebe handled their business, I ran inside and grabbed my DSC T-3oo (which I'd LOVE to upgrade soon to this baby.. hope you're reading honey!)

DON'T CLICK IF YOU FREAK OUT EASILY

After examining the spider and Googling spider identifications, I found out it was a St. Andrew's Cross spider. Pretty much harmless. WHEW! I'm hoping no one else comes across it and decides to harm her.

Well that was unexpected!

Our closing date got bumped up to the 17th of September from the 30th :D Unfortunately DH will be in Afghanistan on the 17th, so we have to move it to the 20th. It's nice to have that breathing room though, now we can officially be out of our apartment before the 1st of October. I'll be taking pictures tomorrow night of the building progress :)

House!

Friday after work the Mr. decided to head over to our home site to take photos. He wandered around inside and WOW they've done a lot in 10 days. The next morning we went back and they were finishing up the brick and working on the inside a bit more. SO EXCITING!

Pictures!

I can't wait until it's complete and we can finally move out of this cramped apartment.

Strike one.

Considering my goal in life is to become a CNM (certified nurse-midwife), having a homebirth or birthing in a center is extremely important to me when thinking about my future pregnancy. Having heard many horror stories about unnecessary interventions while in hospitals, I started looking for a midwife the second the Mr. and I decided to TTC. Being new to Texas, I am happy to have a friend with the same mindset. I made an appointment at a birthing center not so far from where we live, it also happened to be close to said friend so she wanted to come too. She'd read that this particular birthing center offered the choice of VBAC (vaginal birth after cesarean) which is what she was looking for. Her story is not mine to tell, but feel free to hop over to her blog and read her point of view.

Walking in was like a breath of fresh air. It was so homey and welcoming, albeit slightly dated. We'd gotten there 10mins early and were asked to take a seat. We sat, talked, and were entertained by the awesomeness that is an adventurous 16 month old. They were busy, I totally understand that.. but it felt like an eternity of waiting. Cue gorgeous mother walking into the center. Tall, thin, everything I wanted to be. Well, the height I can't really do anything about, I will be 4'11" forever.. or at least until I start shrinking when I'm old. I thought about just excusing ourselves and scheduling to meet another day, but just then a woman came up to us. She looked like the wicked witch minus the green face paint. I'm not being mean, I'm being honest. She did. She seemed cold and distant, probably because her mind was on the mother about to pop. She asked if we had any questions, being put on the spot I hadn't really considered anything. I'd read up on their website and had plenty of knowledge on the subject already (HELLO, I wouldn't choose this as my profession without doing research first) Miss Lauren asked about VBACs and the woman's answer was "no we don't do them anymore, although I wish we did." My eardrums ruptured as I could hear my new friend's heart breaking. Why WISH you could do something?! Why not just DO it, I understand the risks involved but the risks of a repeat cesarean are MUCH higher. She rushed us through a tour of the facility rooms decked in grandma's hand me downs, handed me a card and sent us on our way.

We huffed and puffed a bit in the car, went home and watched The Business of Being Born where we both got teary eyed and indulged in vegan brownies.

Wordless Wednesday: they love each other

sometimes..




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AMAZING taco soup

i hadn't planned on what to make for dinner, when i decided to follow @ieattrees on twitter.. and lurked her blog.

OHMYDROOL.

i saw something i've been wanting to make FOREVER, super easy.. like sauté some onions and dump 5 cans of stuff in a pot easy. i had everything in my pantry except the taco seasoning, so i had DH drop by the store on his way home and pick some up. he was amazing and grabbed my favorite multigrain tortilla chips while he was there as well.

• 1 cup chopped onions
• 1 15 1/2 oz. can dark red kidney beans, not drained
• 1 15 1/2 oz. can pinto beans, not drained
• 1 15 1/2 oz. can corn, drained
• 1 14 1/2 oz. can tomatoes w/chilis, not drained -i sub'd diced tomatoes/cilantro/lime because DH can't handle spice
• 1 14 1/2 oz. can diced tomatoes, not drained
• 1 package taco seasoning mix

in a large pot saute the onions in a little bit of oil or cooking spray until translucent (i tossed in a tad of garlic as well). dump the other ingredients in the pot and cook covered for an hour, or uncovered for thicker soup.

it was AMAZING. i will make this weekly kind of amazing. i topped it with steamed rice (hello rice cooker!) and half a small avocado :]

so.fucking.awesome.

new addition! [belated wordless wednesday]

Meet Phoebe Love!

its been awhile.

sorry guys, i just haven't really had much to blog about. although, i totally got over a foot cut off my hair yesterday with Lauren over at mommy is rocknroll! Her hair is highlighter pink and we both look schmexy! i was hyperventilating when my stylist pulled my locks into a pony tail and snipped. eep! three years of hair. gone in one second. it feels SO much healthier :) i'm quite happy with it. now for hair porn:

oh and those are my new, totally adorable glasses

Keeping my head up?

The day we discuss our official baby name options, I start cramping. Good sign? Woo! Let's go ovaries! Let's Go!


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master cleanse.

So I was all about doing this master cleanse by the book until this morning.. when I looked in the fridge and saw all of the organic veggies that would be going to waste if I didn't eat them (hubby likes green beans and carrots.. that's about it)

SOOO modified master cleanse. I am going to only drink the lemonade and water, and eat small dinners. I know, I know it defeats the purpose... BUT although I drink as much water as I can [remember to] I'm sure its definitely not as much as I should be drinking, and I'm sure the lemonade with all its yummy enzymes will be much better for me than :coughsweettea: which I drink A LOT of. Once all the organic produce and perishable items are out of the fridge, I will definitely do 10 days straight of JUST the lemonade and water. After the complete cleanse I plan on adding more "raw" foods to my diet, less processed (in fact I want to try and wean myself completely off processed foods.. but we'll see), and drinking only water and fresh fruit and vegetable juices. Speaking of fresh juice, I have to thank my hubby and numerous infomercials for us caving and finally buying a Bullet Express. I LOVE THIS THING! It's first use was to make the fresh lemonade for the master cleanse, but I will be using this thing for EVERYTHING. It will definitely become a staple on our kitchen counter.

So one drink down and I'm a failure. I'm sorry! I just can't say no to fresh organic [read:expensive] produce :[

fickle.

the pitter-patter of little feet.. something I'm so afraid of never hearing.

Considering DH and I are trying to conceive, I might be blogging about our issues and hopefully soon to be triumphs. I'll probably create a new blog to keep them separate, but the first post about it will be here. Prepare for some possible TMI.

I have PCOS and am extremely irregular. For instance, last year Flo only came around twice. TWICE. With everything else we had on our plate last year (unemployment, school, crazy wedding planning, mom getting sick and having emergency surgery, rushed courthouse wedding, offer to move to Texas, three weeks to pack and move on said offer..) I couldn't go see a specialist. Luckily now we are better off and have to resources for me to get help and hopefully fix this problem. I get really emotional when I think about it being my fault that we can't add to our family. I want to give my husband a baby more than anything in this world, and my body just can't do it. I feel like my womanhood has been stripped from me, I feel useless. He doesn't hold any of this against me, he knows that we are in for some rough times on TTC road. It's been a while since we decided "what the heck, lets try for a baby" and nothing. This year started off great! Flo came to visit January-April. Of course the month we decide to go for it, she shies off.. and she hasn't returned. I feel defeated. I'm searching for an OB/GYN in the area and the second I find one I love, I'm making an appointment.

Our exercise regimen seemed to help with bringing Flo back, so tonight we start walking again. Hopefully losing 10-20lbs will bring her back out of hibernation! I'm also going back onto cinnamon capsules, they help regulate insulin levels and has helped bring her back in the past. I'm hoping these natural options will work, I'm not down with having to take more medications than I have to.

So that's where I'm at. Defeated.

:pokes tummy: hey, can you guys please work now?! I would really appreciate it.

Dinner last night!

We met with our loan officer around 6pm and finished up the paperwork to get the house going. I hadn't planned dinner but all that I could think about was Mac & Cheez w/ chik'n nuggets or pizza. I only had one piece of Mac left in the freezer which would definitely not feed me and Mike plus give him a lunch to bring for work. Hmm. Pizza! I went to this place, zpizza a few weeks ago with Lauren and her family. They have 100% organic sauce, offer gluten free dough ANDDDD have daiya mozzarella shreds, plus a shitload of toppings. So off we went.



Roasted garlic, daiya, artichoke hearts, tomatoes and avocado, sprinkled with some s&p and oregano.

It was sooooooooo good! Then we came home and indulged in lemon sorbet. Don't judge me, we were celebrating :]

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